Is Your Hustling Ungodly?

S3:E3- I could have easily titled this episode "How I used God to make me more ungodly." When pride is your motivator and your hustle is exhausting, sometimes  the progress and success you're looking for is on the other side of, "Whatever you want to do God." This is the only reason why this episode even exists. A testimony. 

Transcript

Transcript 

00:00:00 

I could easily title this episode, How I've used God to make me more ungodly.” 

Hey yall, hey it’s ya girl Quay from the MindTime Podcast. Listen I have a story for you. 

This is Season 3: Episode of the MindTime Podcast and this is not the original episode that was supposed to come out today. That is correct. Today is release day and normally I already have all of this done. But this is the story that I want to tell you and share with you guys because God is just doing something and I think it's important for us to pay attention when God kind of flips the script on us. And so, we're going to be talking about that today: 

Is your hustling actually ungodly? Is your hustling actually ungodly? This is what we're going to be talking about on this episode, soI will tell you that I literally have my scripture in front of me and that's it. 

00:00:55 

This is probably the most unprepared episode that I have done so far this season, and that is because, quite frankly, God is doing a new thing so... 

 Last episode we talked about, “Is Jesus Valuable?” And I wanted to set the stage for the fact that before we can move into true discipleship that Jesus has to have some kind of value because the cost of discipleship is high. So, for this particular episode I was intending on starting a new series on Discipleship so I had pages and pages of notes, I knew, (or I felt like I knew) where this thing was going. 

I was studying and listening to sermons and reading commentaries and all of that and so we get down to Tuesday (Monday was my birthday, thank you guys for all the love) and so I get down to Tuesday and I'm like OK I know it's going to be a tight crunch but we're going to get it done. We're going to get this episode out on time. 

So, Tuesday night I put something out in my Facebook group and on my Instagram for The MindTime Podcast (follow us if you don't) and basically was just like hey, it's 9:30 PM like any of my late-night Saints, if y'all are up can you pray your girl through because you know we’re burning the midnight oil. And so I was up till about midnight. I had actually recorded a full episode and I didn't feel great about it, but it would suffice. 

00:02:21 

So, I went to bed and I was like, well, if I get up early enough then I'll try to re-record the episode because I missed some points and some things that I wanted to say and so I would re-record the episode early on Wednesday morning before I got up and went to work. So, I got up early and got dressed and you know, did the whole 9 (you know all the makeup and stuff for the video portion that I put out like on social media or whatever) and record the second one. It was better than the first one but still didn't feel that great about it and was still kind of wrestling with the topic and the subject matter and all of that. So, all yesterday I go through the day and as I'm working, I'm listening to stuff, I'm reading stuff, just really trying to figure out if maybe I need to record this a third time. Something just was not sitting right with me about the episode. 

00:03:10 

And so, I was like, OK, well if I go home then I will re-record it, you know, and then I'm just going to have to push through and get it transcribed and edited and you know all the graphics and all that kind of stuff because I do all of that myself to get it out on time today. Today is Thursday. It's 8:40 AM and I have a zoom meeting for work in 20 minutes.  

So (last night) I was like OK, well then, I'll come home and I'll push through to get it out. I came home last night still didn't feel like I had any new revelation. Didn't really feel like I was enthusiastic. I was listening to the first take and the second take and I couldn't even get through the first 3 minutes.  Something just wasn't right about the episode. 

So I just finally resolved it in my mind, you know what, this is just going to be late. And I'm gonna be honest, I was devastated because I pride myself on consistency. That has been my crowning glory from the beginning. Next month will be 1-year that I have been podcasting and so I have been able to say up to this point, I've never missed the episode. Like I'm consistent. My episodes have never come out late I just believe in consistency. 

00:04:18 

That's why I love Jesus so much because people have come in and out of my life my whole entire life and Jesus has always been a constant. And so, I've been able to pride myself on that. And so I was bummed out but I knew that it wasn't going to happen. I was extremely tired last night and it just wasn't coming together. So, I woke up this morning and I had put together a scripture on a picture quote so I could post it to the Instagram page and the Facebook page to tell you guys, “hey thank you all for your prayers. I did record the episode but nothing is going to be released today because it just didn't come together. 

So, I had made a nice little infographic this morning and so I'm getting up and I'm just, you know again, still bummed about the fact that I'm not going to be able to say that I got my episode out on time. I felt like I had dropped the ball and so as I was getting ready, I remembered this Scripture and I was like what Scripture is that where it talks about if the Lord doesn't build the house, then they that labor, labor in vain? Like I had heard that before and so I looked it up- just kind of like in a short devotional reading as I'm getting ready. I like to read in the mornings and so I did I found in Psalms 127 verses 1-3 (NIV): 

Unless the Lord builds the house, 
    the builders labor in vain. 
Unless the Lord watches over the city, 
    the guards stand watch in vain. 
2 In vain you rise early 
    and stay up late, 
toiling for food to eat— 
    for he grants sleep to those he loves 

If there was ever a scripture that I got convicted about this morning, it was this: Psalms 127. Unless the Lord is doing this thing, all of the work that you're doing is in vain. And I really felt like that was what I needed for where I'm at right now. Which is, you're doing all of this work, and I don't think the episodes were bad, I will eventually get to discipleship (I don't even know if it's going to be the next episode, or if God is doing something new or different), but all of the work that I was doing- the staying up late, the getting up early and you know, forsaking the very thing that this Scripture is saying that God does for us, right? 

00:06:44 

God gives when God is doing a thing, you're hustling is not necessary. This is where Christ and culture clash because culture is all about the hustle. Culture right now is all about the grind. We’re grinding and hustling, we’re grinding and we’re hustling. And God is saying, but he grants sleep to those he loves, because ultimately, he's going to be the one to build it. 

So, all of the stuff that I have done for the last 3 days, at this particular point on release day and I don't have an episode, is in vain. And it may not be that the content was bad, it just may be God is saying, but that's not the house that I was building at this particular point. So now I'm just recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking maybe this is going to be S3:E3- “Is your hustling, ungodly” because here's the thing: a lot of times our hustle just fuels our pride. 

00:07:37 

My hustling didn't have so much to do with God and I want the message to get out. A lot of my hustle was I wanted to be able to continue to say I'M consistent. I'M dedicated. I'm using the things of God to fuel my own pride. 

How many of us are guilty of that, even when it comes to good stuff? Church stuff? With your ministry? For preachers, I'm preaching over here. I'm invited over here. I'm speaking at a conference over here. And we're doing all of these things and we're hustling and it’s good stuff, right? We're doing it for the Kingdom of God.  But we have to be careful that our hustling is not actually fueling our pride, and our pride is ungodly. 

00:08:24 

Because clearly, he says, unless God is building the house, those that build were building in vain. And so now I look back and I'm just like, OK, you know what God? First of all, let me repent for my pridefulness, and the thing about it was, I believe that God led me to this place because I finally got to the place where I was OK with saying, you know what? If the episode is late it’s late. If I have to give up being able to say I have never missed an episode, this ain't my podcast no way, and I've said that on several episodes this is not my podcast. 

I would talk about much more happier subjects if I was running the show. I tell you all the time about that series I wanted to do early on in season one about how God was proud of you. I wanted to talk about how God loves you. You know how God is with you, how God is doing all these great and grand and wonderful things for you or whatever. But this is not my show. 

I have tried to be a happier and encouraging podcaster but I see that God is wrestling with me about doctrine even in my own life because there's enough fluff out here and God is saying I need people who are going to tell the true message. So in my mind and in theory, I've been able to say you know what this is God's podcast. But at the same time, am I ok if God says, “but does that mean I get to change the schedule or you gonna trip about that too?” And that's why I had to sit back. 

00:09:59 

And this is the other funny thing. I'm wrestling with an episode about discipleship where I'm getting ready to tell y'all that discipleship costs everything. And I felt like God was saying, uh, huh? Well, let's see whether or not you really believe that's true. Because what does that mean if your episode is not out on time? What does it mean if I change the schedule? What does it mean if I change what you were planning to talk about? Discipleship and following God oftentimes will make you lay down your own plans. 

00:10:31 

That's what I was getting ready to post on Facebook this morning. In our minds, we make the plans, but God is directing the steps. And what do you do if the plans you've made and the steps that God is directing you to take are going in opposite directions? Are we willing to lay down the grind and are we willing to lay down the hustle in order to be obedient? That's the question. Because there are seasons where God is saying I can do more if you would actually do less. And so here we are. 

This was not the episode it was supposed to be. This is not what I had planned, but I had to relinquish the idea of I'm committed. I'm dedicated, I'm consistent in order to be obedient to God who's actually running the show. For some of us, the reason why you are not making forward progress in your life is because you have not gotten to the place where you're willing to let down your pride. You're not willing to lay down your pride. 

00:11:42 

And I feel like it was once I got to the place where I was able to say, OK, you know what God? It ain't even about me. That's cool. Then God said here’s your episode right here. I don't know if this is going to get out on time. Like I said, I'm on my way to a Zoom meeting for work, and so I'm just here talking and maybe this will end up out today, and then I can go back and just be like you know what God did a thing today. 

Or maybe it won't come out till tomorrow. Or maybe it won't come out till next week. I don't know 'cause here's the thing. God could do it and I could go back to being prideful. Sometimes we can use the things of God to fuel our own pride. Sometimes we can use the things of God to make us ungodly. Now that's an oxymoron for you. 

00:12:32 

I could easily title this episode, “How I've used God to make me more ungodly” because it happens. And this is how the enemy works too, because a lot of us think what we're doing good things and we're doing spiritual things, and so we never stopped to assess whether or not our heart is right or if our motives are right and God has to check us even doing spiritual things.  God has to sit us down sometimes for doing spiritual things. Why? Because our hearts run away from him so fast. 

It's a running joke with some of my friends about how much I repent, but I literally go left so quickly and I have said that on numerous episodes. Y'all I go to the left so fast. I'll be here and I'll be following the Lord and I look up and I'm way off track. It happened just that quick. 

And so I feel like this is another one of those defining moments, and I tell you every episode it happens because I mark time and I feel like every season there is one pivotal point where I go one direction and God has to bring me right on back and I feel like this is the first one. I feel like I might have two or three this season. I'm praying the Lord keeps me but we got to be careful about that. 

00:13:49 

We have to watch our hustling because culture will tell us that hustling is the way to get success and God is saying people who are obedient to me will always have success. This success is not in what you're doing. The success is what God has already done and you just following the path that he's already laid out. 

So last night I could have pushed it. I have two fully recorded episodes that I could have edited and put out just to be able to say I never missed the episode. I would have stayed up all last night fueled by pride. Fueled by selfishness. Fueled by wanting to keep saying something about how good and consistent and great that I am. And I went to bed and I woke up this morning, ready to release that. And God said, there's your episode. 

00:14:48 

So I just want to encourage somebody today if you feel like you're not moving or God is not moving or you feel like you've hit a wall. Because I kept praying and praying and praying and I was like God, I don't understand. Is there a sin issue? I feel like you're not talking. I feel like you're not revealing anything about this. You have not given me peace, you have not settled it.  And I'm praying for days and I felt like I just got nothing and I was like what is this? But it wasn't until I got to the place where I was willing to lay down my pride. 

00:15:23 

You know what God, whatever you want to do?

Sometimes your breakthrough is on the other side of, “God, whatever you want to do.”

Sometimes your peace is on the other side of, “God, whatever you want to do.”

 Your joy is on the other side of, “God, whatever you want to do.”

The reason why you're not making progress is because you're holding on to something that God is saying can you please let it go? Let it go and let me have it. And so here we are. It's release day for me and I'm just now recording what may be my actual episode. And we're here because this morning I finally just had to say “God, whatever you want to do.”

00:16:16 

So I just want to encourage somebody. This is not a standard episode, but sometimes God will flip the script on you. And when it comes to discipleship, let me just go in and lay a foundation because I feel like we're still going to talk about discipleship at some point in this season, but when it comes to discipleship, true discipleship cost you everything. You cannot call yourself a follower of Jesus Christ if you are not willing to sacrifice everything. 

It cost you everything. But be of good cheer because God is saying it’s not that I'm telling you to drop the ball. It’s not that I'm telling you I'm not going to pick it up. It's God saying I'm literally carrying the weight and I just need you to come behind. That's the kind of God that we serve. And it doesn’t make sense all the time but God is saying my ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts. I'm gonna always be countercultural because culture doesn't understand spiritual things. 

00:17:18 

This is the reason why you can't be in the flesh and in the spirit simultaneously. You can't.  They're literally at war with each other. And the more time we spend trying to feed our flesh and trying to feed our pride and trying to feed our ego and our arrogance, the less time we spend getting to know the spiritual things. Everybody wants disciple level insight but nobody wants to invest disciple level time. You want God to tell you all the great plans He has for you. You want disciple-level insight and God is saying, but are you making disciple level investment? And that investment is more time in the spirit and less time in the flesh. 

00:18:08 

God is saying I can do more if you would let it go and if you would be willing to do less. Is your hustling ungodly? And is it fueling your own pride and selfish ambition? We didn't even have a MindTime Mic Drop Moment in this episode, but there go, your questions are right there. The episode and the questions. So that's where we are. That's full transparency, we're here. 

I got 5 minutes to get to my zoom meeting. God is good. God is faithful. Listen, it has been a rough week but we're here and God cares because I care and I'm here because I just believe this is what I'm called to do. So I hope you guys have a blessed day. You know, maybe this episode will come out on time, maybe not. 

I do have to get up and go to a J-O-B that pays me to keep these lights and these microphones running, but just know until the next episode (which we hope comes out on time also) that we love you know that I love you again thank you all for the birthday love this week!!

God bless you and keep you is our prayer.

Peace!